Saturday, February 25, 2012

Down with the sickness ( WARNING- this'll get rough)

So, will every week bring another example of why our Mass culture is a diseased malignant tumour on what would otherwise be healthier lives? It looks that way.
This week brought us Adele flipping off the British public, and Rhianna and Chris Brown announcing that they are still an (un)limited liability partnership. I'd like to talk about both, because I've got a bit of an angle on them.
First, Adele. I've never cared for her music. She's a prepackaged nostalgia act singing outside of her range so that bored hausfraus' can feel relevant. But what particularly irks me is that people use her supposed talent to justify floating along to her dead mainstream success. People who wouldn't even go to the jazz section of the record store, much less recognize what Billie Holliday sounds like will tell me that she's sold 30 billion records because she "really is talented". Then, they get all defensive before I even reply and usually say some variation on " I don't normally listen to top 20 drek, but she's just so talented, and you really should listen to her before you pass judgement" I have listened to her- I've had no choice in the matter- and I think she's a tier or two below Alison Moyet, with an incredible hype machine fellating people who should know better into thinking that her army of miserablist break up self pity songs are some kind of artistic statement. I almost prefer Lana Del ray because the seams show on her a bit more prominently. To put it plain- she's half talented crap. But, she's still a human being, and obviously suckling on the devil's johnson for her 15 minutes of over-exposure. Don't believe me? She's not yet 25 and she's already blown out her voice. Tell me that isn't the definition of fame-whoring. She's been made up to look like an understudy on an off-broadway production of Hairspray, and you want to tell me she's not trafficking in fat-girl sensitivity tropes?
So then, She does her big return at the American Grammy awards, and is appropriately tearful and grateful-" O, thank you, you great and mighty RIAA, I shall wear your load on my face for all eternity as a token for how much I value your approval". Everything goes picture perfect.
Now comes the homely little Brits ( I actually prefer them, but bear with me- it's part of my point) and she isn't quite as well presented. The make up job is a bit more smeared, the performance a bit more flawed, and then when they cut her acceptance of the big award really, really short, so that Blur can do their punk rock denial of both themselves and the show they're on, she flips the bird at the British audience she's so effing proud to have pleased? Please note, she didn't do two fingers, she did the American "bird", and she didn't do it at the presenter who rushed her off the stage- she did it at the Audience. Of course, she tried the usual spin, afterwards, saying that she meant to show her displeasure at the show, and she's terribly, terribly sorry, now please go buy her record. I say bullshit. She's been sucking on the hype machine's testicles until her throat was raw, and then this pissant little 'homeland" of hers showed they had more love for has-beens than they did for her, and her reaction was 'Piss on you, I sing in an American accent for a bloody reason". Dollars to Do-nuts ( phrased that way on purpose) she'll be a tax-exile before the year is out, working in Los Angeles with Timbaland on her follow up club-banger, entitled "Slap my Ass".... See, believe it or not, I actually like the little Tottenham Adkins girl underneath the mass-culture product called "Adele". If she really did shout 'Up Yours" with two fingers in the air, and went back to north London, to record some jazz records in her actual voice, I'd probably buy, and like those records. I'm probably one of only a handful that would, which is why she won't, and so I hate this Adele creature because it's probably forever killed not only the real ms Adkins, but also the chance of hearing some other little girl from North London sing something meaningful from an organic perspective. Instead, because she's a fame-whore, they'll want to sing as if they were born in Tennessee, listening to chess records from the time they were able to have a bowel movement, and that makes the world a poorer place.
Now then, As for Rhianna and Chris Brown- Rhianna went back to her abusers 3 years ago. That's completely obvious. She's got an army of them- handlers, managers and coaches. All of whom could give a shit less for ms Robyn F. They just are angling for the next hit single. So, they'll have her do songs that make her rather savage beating mere fodder for gossipers, and make her wink and smile at the camera, as if to coo " Kill me, next time, and I'll go down orgasming" . Disgusting, no? Well, that's how I see it. In pursuit of mass markets, they've done everything except flat out state "a little beating here and there is what every girl wants, if it's coming from a sexy superstar". I know more than a little about dysfunctional relationships, and it really strikes me that the relationship between this deformity we call "Rhianna" and her public is about as dysfunctional as it gets. Meanwhile, much like Michael Vick or even OJ, so long as Chris Brown acts a bit chastened, it's all good. Hell, the whole incident can even be used as a pick up line with some drunk about-to-be-date-raped fan of his.
I can't say this any more clearly- every week I see another example of how this media complex I call "Mass culture' is a machine with only the goal of the destruction of our humanity available for purchase. Steer clear if you know what's good for you....

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