A new leaf

So in America, we always seem to be screwing up, then trying to get a fresh start, or a second chance, or a new opportunity. I'm sure there are self help type books about why that is, and why it's right, but I'm not real keen on second chances, myself. In my own life, I'm constantly making mistakes, poor attempts, bad judgements, and so on. I'm also getting some things right, and, crazy as I may be, I think that's a better path. Not all one way or the other- you might be a drug addict who's a brilliant songwriter, or a great accountant who's lousy to women, or whatever, but rather than looking for a "do over" what you need to do is concentrate more on what you're good at, and less on what makes you suck. Oh, you'll still suck. We all do, all the time. But by trying to do what we do best, we make up for it, a little bit. That strikes me as far more reasonable than some mythical "second try".

So, why am I getting all 'Dr Phil" on you? Because I've been reading biographies in the past week. I've been reading "American Demon" by Jack Grisham, "Violence Girl" by Alicia Velasquez (Alice Bag) and "My Booky Wook" by Russell Brand. All three approach the issue of screwing up in different manners, and, well, you'll be able to tell which one I like best, easily.

I know Jack. I wouldn't call us "friends", because I don't think he'd know my name, but he'd recognize my face. Jack supposedly has written the fictional biography of a demon living in America. What's closer to the truth is these are his story, based upon how he sees himself these days. On the one hand, he joyfully accepts responsibility of all the horrible things he's done. Yes, some are horrible- attempted murder happens fairly frequently. Like I said, I know Jack, and yes, he really has been one of the most dangerous guys around, so please don't think he's exaggerating. He's also witty, funny, a brilliant front man for any band he's in, and a real romantic who really wants to see the world as a better place. He isn't looking for a second chance, as it were, so much as he's looking for a chance. Half the time, that's a chance to do real harm, but other times, it's a chance to do real good. He's exploiting the trope that we all write fictions of ourselves, and that's very true. Whatever I am, I'll never know the objective truth about myself. But, there's still a distance between him and the awful things he's done, because he's fictionalized it as this "demon'. The truth is that he's a thug, with a good mind. An entertaining thug, but a thug, nonetheless.

If you look over to your left, you might note that I know Alice/Alicia. We have met face to face, and she might know my name but these would be separate events. I saw The Bags, and the Alice Bag band at places like the Vex in Los Angeles, in the late 1970's and early 1980's. They were amoung the very first tastes of rock and roll of any stripe I ever had. You have to understand, I'm in my mid-forties, now, so mathwise, that means there weren't a lot of concert opportunities for me pre-1977, in that it was still unacceptable for pre-teens to go unaccompanied to arenas or bars, in those days. Fortunately, I was very tall at a relatively young age ( I was almost adult height by 10, and the same height as now by 13) so, when I was 13 I did start passing for 18 and could go to places on my own. So, I was a face in the crowd at that time, and ran into her on the internet, only in the past few years.

So, why the diversion down memory lane? Because I've already read "Violence Girl' as blog posts on her blog of the same name, and I've now read it as a book, and what's more, I saw a few bits of it, firsthand. I think her truth is the closest to my truth of the three. Things happen, both good and bad, and while some bad things get punished in subtle ways, and some good things get rewarded in tiny ways, mostly things just play out. Hers is less a tale of redemption than it is of re-invention. She learns along the way to concentrate on her strengths and play less into the hands of her weaknesses. She doesn't exactly forgive those who have wronged her, but she learns to understand them. Definitely no 'second acts" here. I like that. It's all the first act. I only wish I'd been a bit more of her type, and a bit less of a wallflower when she was a real wild child, because while were both in good places,now, etc- it'd be really cool to say that I knew her back then- even if we both still have regrets about those times, I think she's never been anyone's regret, and I wish I could say the same, but I think she's able to make even a loser freak like me come across as more interesting. So, yes, better written, as well. Easily the best of the three books, and that is a matter of perspective- her perspective. It's better than Jack who avoids the typical "new leaf' cliches, but still excuses and distances himself.

Then, there's Russell Brand. I actually like some of his comedy, and I think he's interesting and smarter than expected for a celebrity. But he traffics in the worst of the cliches. Oh I was terrible, but it was terribly fun, but I'm all right now. He even called a comedy show 'Better now". So, why did i read it? Because he can be funny. That's it, really. I wouldn't want to know him. His life sounds like Jack's minus the violence, and, not to be too American, but I am of the sort that Violence was always a more likely sort of trouble for me than Sex. Even so, if he enjoyed it all so much as he very apparently did, as he rhapsodizes about his drugs and paid-for sex, then how am I to believe that he's "better', now? It's bullshit, one way or the other,and I think both.

See, that's the thing with these "new leafs"- it's bullshit one way or the other. Either you weren't having any fun, or you aren't having any fun, now. I had very little fun when I was doing things I don't do now- that's why I don't do them, now. There's no change in me, as a person. No sudden epiphany.

Let me give you an example because it's most recent ( if only very petty and minor). I gave up coffee. Were there times when I loved coffee? You bet. But, I have a lousy gut, and I gave up coffee because it was no longer any good to drink a cup, and have wrenching gut and chest pain for 3 hours afterwards. No fun in that at all. So, I gave up coffee. There's no wistfully thinking about the days when I drank coffee. There's no admitting that coffee was more powerful than me. No tearful confessions about what my love for coffee made me do. I just got sick, and quit. There you go. Done. I didn't need a new life, I just needed to have more fun.

So, it's New Year's eve, where I'm typing, now. That's my thought for New Year's eve- Auld Lang Syne. You know the words- For auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne- we'll take a cup of kindness yet- for auld lang syne. That's the way I see the world-we are little but our memories, and if we cannot accept our memories, we cannot accept our lives. If we cannot accept our lives they become painful fictions- they will be fictions in any case, but the real goal is less about truth and more about minimizing pain. Yeah, I'm deep like that, yo....

A few Thoughts on Crossover

So, it's almost Christmas, thus my thoughts naturally turn to Metal. Yeah, right.

Actually, I've been reading "This Ain't the Summer of love" by Steve Waksman, and while it's not the worst bit of music criticism disguised as cultural anthropology I've ever read, it is merely that- this is just his way of writing about some bands he likes, and he managed to get it into book form because he got some grants from a few universities. His point is that Metal and Punk are connected, and while he's not wrong, he misses a whole lot; not the least of which goes something like this: His title is from a Blue Oyster Cult song. In the late 1970's, Blue Oyster Cult collaborated with Patti Smith, and their in-house producer, Sandy Pearlman, also produced the Clash's 2nd LP. The song in question "This ain't the Summer of love' shares a riff with Mudhoney's "Swallow my Pride", and a big song for BOC, "Godzilla" was very similar to a few Nirvana riffs, including "Smells Like Teen Spirit"... That's off the top of my head- I could get deeper, easily, but I don't think Waksman could, seeing as he's just a recovering "Hessian' ( Los Angeles punk rock slang for Metal head)

Anyway, enough about the book because it's just my jumping off point. Punk and Metal clearly are closely related, but mostly because they're both hard rock, and roughly contemporary. However, I'm a pretty big fan of punk, and really not such a big fan of Metal. That's more what I want to discuss.

See, I know I've mentioned metal on this blog, and on previous blogs and even in printed articles, and so, it might seem like I'm some kind of metal head, but I'm not and the reasons are many. I'm not a big believer in Virtuosos. I'm not impressed by speed picking, hammer ons and the like. I know plenty of music theory, and I can play well enough that I've passed for professional, but I just don't care for the whole notion that sheer technical prowess is musically more worthy. Shredding just doesn't mean much to me. Likewise, I don't give a rats ass about Frodo or the Devil. Fantasy and occult lyrics mean less than nothing to me. I don't like long hair, bullet belts, or black leather, either. Spandex is best left to strippers and pro-wrestlers. On top of all that, there inevitably is something... vaguely trashy about metal, in an unappealling way. What I mean is, ummm, well, let's do this by way of a story. Most socialists struggle a bit with the dichotomy between wanting to do what's best for "the masses" and the short-comings of those same 'masses". I had a friend who resolved this dichotomy by dividing up the Proletariat between the proles and the "lumpen Proletariat". I disagree, respectfully, but I can see what he meant. That's the kind of problem I've got with Metal- it always seems to lead to ignorant hickoid trash, of the least amusing kind- racists, close minded bigots, sexist pigs, etc. Do I have to bring up Zakk Wylde, or were you already there with me? I can deal with Cat Scratch Fever, but do I have to take Ted Nugent, too? See what I'm getting at?

So, almost reflexively, the only Metal I like shares some kind of 'crossover" with Punk. I can deal with the aforementioned Blue Oyster Cult in that their music fits in, at least in enough ways, with the detroit "Proto punk' style. I'm ok with Tru$T, and, very early Iron Maiden, because DiAnno was a bit of a punk, and hell, Jimmy Pursey even got thrown into the mix (East Enders, all). Likewise, bands like Kylesa and Torche have roots in Southern Crust punk, and it shows enough that I like them.

And what do I have to say about Motorhead? Isn't it obvious that they're as much a Punk band as a Metal band?

If you are a big Metal head, I know we share some musical tastes, but there are some points of divergence, and I'm bringing up that divergence because Waksman reminded me-

ultimately, the reason why I'm not real keen on Metal comes down to this- the divide isn't academic. When someone throws a punch at you, either for liking a band he doesn't, or for not liking a band he does, or, horrors, for both, it tends to turn you off to everything that clown likes. Well, I had more than a few punches thrown at me from Metal heads. Everything beyond that is just icing on the cake of hate. If Waksman missed anything important, it's that- there were plenty of real, not verbal fights between punks and Metal heads in the 80's. I haven't forgotten that, so I still have a bit of a grudge against Metal as a genre....

I don't Do "Best Of" Lists

However, I've not put anything new under your nose in awhile. Why that is would be a combination of three factors; 1. I'm too busy working two jobs, and taking care of a household, and buying stuff for other people. 2. Really, music-wise, book-wise, and Film-wise, there hasn't been anything in the past month or so that really spoke to me. Now, TV, on the other hand- Boardwalk Empire is AMAZING! you must watch it at your earliest convenience. The acting? Michael Shannon, and Michael Pitt were just ungodly good. Steve Buscemi actually isn't playing Steve Buscemi. This is something harder, and more menacing. I like it. Gretchen Mol has finally redeemed herself from that horrible Bettie page movie, and is playing a vicious psycho who reminds me of my ex-wife ( and how's that for playing the villian?) and Kelly Macdonald finally, finally, Finally pays off that promised she showed in Trainspotting. The production? Hell, this is the most beautiful depiction of the prohibition era since prohibition. Just absolutely gorgeous. It blows away stuff like the Coen Brothers' attempts (Millers Crossing, and O, Brother) and yes, the Godfather flicks.The story is very loosely based upon the real-life Enoch Johnson, and, yes, some of the fun is in the docu-drama aspect, but there has been enough variation on real life that I'm rivetted to my seat- and nothing hammered in those rivets more than the season finale. I won't give you any spoilers, but I will say that the real-life counterpart to a major character was very much alive into the 1970's- so the point is that there are no rules- the story will play out, and what a story it is. Basically, it imagines a noirish world in which all are corrupt, and the only real nobility is if your corruption serves the greater good. In terms of plot, it centers around the efforts of Enoch 'Nucky" Thompson to run Atlantic City at the time when it was the Vice Capital of the USA. Beyond that, you can google it. But, hey, I'm getting distracted.... I'm just meaning to say the Boardwalk Empire has been the sole new pop culture thing to really catch me since the beginning of december.

So, since I don't do best of lists, since that would imply that I've not only got taste, but that my tastes are worth emulating, I'm just giving you a list of the 15 musical releases I've listened to the most this year. All are truly spectacular, and I think all are worth your time. Of course there's no hierarchy, and, of course, I listened to other stuff, but I just dumped itunes, and I happened to notice what had been most played, and these were the 2011 releases:

Gang of Four- Content

Ringo Deathstarr- Colour Trip

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart- Belong

The United Sons of Toil-When the Revolution comes, Everything will be Beautiful

Pandoras. Box- Monomeet

Wire- Red Barked Tree

Ritual-Paper Skin

Red Fang- Murder the Mountains

Cute Lepers- Adventure Time

dEUS- Keep you Close

Kasabian- Velociraptor!

Wild-Flag-Wild Flag

Lydia Loveless- Indestructible Machine

Wilco- the Whole Love

Coliseum-Parasites (ep)

Most of them should be available at Amazon, and Bandcamp. There's your christmas list if you don't already have them.

Giving Doubletwist a whirl

As the title states, I'm trying Doubletwist as an alternative to Itunes. It's... different, so far. Uploading was a freakin' breeze, and compatability doesn't appear to be an issue. I mean, 2000 songs uploaded in 10 minutes, that's not bad. And I lost no artwork, or whatever. playlists are organized a bit different, and I'm still learning there. It's easier just to right click and play in Windows Media player (which,by the way, sounds pretty good via headphones- seriously, I've not had bass response like this in quite awhile. Some of the highs are a bit mushy, but I've gotten fairly used to a pretty tinny sound, so I might be adjusting)
We're not quite at the Honeymoon, here, but not a bad introduction.

Except when I don't

Well, Apple, it was fun for a little bit. I'm done with you. Safari was a good browser, and I really liked my Ipod, but I was never the biggest fan of Itunes, and, now, with the Icloud, Ping, Home sharing crap, I view your products as a threat to my well being.
See, I got this shiny new laptop, and it really is shiny and new, all silvery and speedy. Then, I tried to upload itunes on. First, it wouldn't let me download it. Seems my shiny new laptop is a bit too shiny and new for anything but the absolute latest version of Itunes, the one that comes preloaded to operate on the cloud. Which would be OK if it retained functionality, but it didn't. See, I couldn't access my library. Worse yet, when I tried to access through Home sharing, I got someone else's library. Yes, I couldn't believe that either! I mean, I was using my information. My username, my password, my email address, the works, and yet, there I was, staring down a list of bad Nu-metal and pop country tunes owned by what I can only presume is a girl in dire need of therapy - and Amy K, if you ever stumble across my email that I sent you, before you delete it because you think I'm some kind of Nigerian Prince scam, I wish you the best of luck, and whoever is the guy who made you so hurt and angry, he's not worth it.
But, Apple, things got worse. I was still trying to make it work. After all, I'd invested so much time and money in you. Somewhere in the neighbourhood of 800 songs purchased, not to mention the hardware, and all the time spent trying to recover from previous crashes, glitches, and problems. But, you were unavailable. No easy access to a help desk, unless I gave you a product code, but there is no product code to itunes, is there? I had a certainty inside that it wouldn't work. But I finally found a few places to email, and so I did.
Then, I heard back from you. More precisely, from Theresa. Theresa, I know you're just working a shit job. I know this because one of my jobs isn't so very different from yours. Theresa, I know you need information to do your job, but you don't need the personal data that you were asking for. I'm not going to sell out Amy K, either. On top of that, my kaspersky LIT UP every time I opened one of your emails. Worms, trojans, viruses: you're carrying more threats than a Somali hooker with a poorly made AK. It was then that my heart turned and hardened. I realized how bad our relationship has been.
I will find love again. I know I will. One of my real friends will set me up. When I fall in Love, I'm doggedly loyal, and I'm shameless in promoting. When I love something, or someone, I love them all the way, except when I don't. Then, I leave them behind me like excrement. Worth nothing but disgust. Yes, Apple you disgust me. Go fellate Jobs' corpse, you cancerous piece of trash. I mean it. Just like that. You've betrayed me for the last time. I won't trust you, and I don't like you. I hope that effing Coby electronics outsells you. I hope that someone hacks your new Iphone, and makes your operating system a cheap concubine for Russian Mobsters. Go die.

mmm mmm I luuuv technology

So, still setting up the new computer. Actually, two computers. I got a Dell Inspirion as the "home" computer, meaning that it belongs mostly to my wife, but I can use it, too. She's got a netbook, and an HP Laptop for her use, as well. But, what I'm typing on is my new Toshiba Satellite. I got a rather low end model, nearly discontinued- one of the 4 gig, 2 ghz 755 models. Why? Well because I actually trust Toshiba. As far as corporate behemoths go, they're not so evil. But also because they make relatively reliable stuff. So, why go so low end? Because, so long as I've got a decent dvd/blu ray drive, and enough memory to run IE and Open Office, and a few USB ports, I don't need anything more. Really, I probably could have managed with a 2 Gig version, but then, it's a 1.6 ghz processing speed, and I'm used to have about 2ghz speed, and this one was en vente, at a muy bien price. The idea is to keep processes to a minimum, on the hard drive, and keep everything on external drives. Also, I'm OK with Microsoft, I've got good friends who work at Microsoft, but I was almost convinced to go mac, based upon how horrible Vista was, and how clunky MS office was becoming. Can I say that I hated it? Yeah, pretty much. So, I wasn't going to go full bore PC. I can still run IE happily, and Windows 7 is back up to snuff. Certainly not better than a Mac, but not so much worse. But, Office, I'm done with. I like Open office so far, and yes, I've got friends at Oracle, as well. I do have google chrome preloaded on this sucker, so there's always that option, as well. The only other "big" thing, is that I'm going to have to download Itunes on here. I'm worried about that, a bit. I've got somewhere around 1600 songs on 11 CDS to load, and we'll see how that works.
But, in the meantime, I've got, essentially, a netbook, with word processing, a blu-ray player, and a cool wireless mouse, and decent 25 watt speakers, at under the price of an IPad. So, yeah, so far, so good.

I've been away

No, I'm not dead. Just busy. And somewhat bummed out. And well, typing this on a new computer, which says that yes, the old one is dead. So, while I can't say I'll be putting up a whole lot of posts in the near future, but there might be some forthcoming. Again, if somebody tells you "But we really need to have you" for a second job, really consider if you need them.